Sunday, January 15, 2012

Learninq Faculty:Visual/spatial learning

for visual-spatial learners,
takes place all at once,
with great chunks of information grasped in intuitive leaps,
rather than in the gradual accretion of isolated facts,
small steps or habit patterns gained through practice.
For example, they can learn all of the multiplication facts as a related set in a chart much easier and faster than memorizing each fact separately."

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Study skill:Learning to Learn Cycle



Learning to learn
Your path for most useful learning is through knowing
o yourself
o the practice you have successfully used in the past
o your ability to learn
o your interest in, and understanding of, the subject you wish to study
It may be easy for you to learn physics but difficult to learn tennis, or vice versa.
All learning, however, is a process which settles into sure steps.
The following is an exercise of four steps to help you understand how you learn:
Begin by selecting each step and answer the questions.
Then plan your strategy with your answers, and with other "Study Guides.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

All time Happy Key:Never Undervalue the Power of Positive Thinking


It should come as no surprise that many, if not most, motivational, inspiring, and success-oriented books are rooted in positive thinking. Those who have created and found fortune and fame in various walks of life all claim to consider in this phenomenon called “positive thinking.” While fortune and fame may be added bonuses of thinking positively, most people just want to be happy. Happiness, too, may be closer than you think.
Such a large stress is always put on positive thinking because it has the potential of affecting your entire life. Your thoughts control your decision-making and you make your actions based on what you decide to do in any given position. These are all important factors because they comprise our lives. When we walk through life looking at everything in a negative light, we become surrounded with worry and doubt. As a result, we make sure choices and decision, often life changing, based on negative or positive thoughts. If we allow ourselves to think positively and let those good thoughts shine through, we 61 will almost always choose the best path and the higher road.
Realizing that harmful thoughts of anger, jealousy, and malice, affect our decision-making and our daily lives; we must choose for the better and make an effort to think positively. In every situation, good or bad, things could potentially forever be worse. Some doubters may say, “Isn’t that thinking negative?” Yes. It can, if you let it control your life. But if you look at every situation and want to see the better, or brighter, side it will keep you reaching towards thinking and living positively. When you try to see or make the best of every situation, you will be grateful as you count your blessings.
Thinking positively allows you to accomplish many more things in life simply because you will allow yourself to try things you previously were unsure of or had doubts concerning. Perhaps one of main reasons some people are more successful than others is because they think positively, take on more trials, and do well more often in life.

SuccessfulLife:Agree to Yourself to Let Go


Allowing yourself to let go by not holding a complaint should free up your mind and time. In a sense, not remaining angry or let down will make you a more productive person. Rather than seeing “letting go” of something as a loss, learn to view it as a helpful. Doing this will help in your decision to become a better person just by altering your actions and habits.
Everyone is familiar with the expression “Forgive and not remember.” Well, why don’t you? So much time and energy goes into being aggravated, especially when this involves someone you must communicate with. In such an example, your inability to talk to, or otherwise effectively communicate with, another coworker decreases competence. Not being able to forgive creates other problems, as what started off as a simple argument transforms into you not performing as well at your workplace. This makes a small problem get much larger, all because a situation was handled the same, unsuccessful way.
Similar to anger and negativity in general, not allowing yourself to let go of easy things and disputes, starts a destructive chain of events. This, .clearly, is not good for any of us
It’s been said that the one who cannot forget an incident has a state of mind far worse than the one who was initially wrong, or at fault, in any given situation. Remember, resentment is a negative, unproductive, and, often, harmful emotion. Learn to cultivate good habits and do not forget to put pardon towards the top of the file.

Give Without in The Family Way to Receive in Return


You must learn to give without the hope of receiving in return. Without the communication and company of others, we would all be alone with nobody to share with and talk to. Remember, most items are only held as significant in our society because we have placed a price, or worth, on those very items. Without others we would not know the value of the items we feel we need and want. More highly, sharing makes us feel good because we know that, in one way or another, we can help others by giving of ourselves in a number of ways.
charitable is a great attribute for us as human beings to have. We must learn to become giving towards others and also learn to forgive as well. pardon, too, is another form of giving. When we give without the expectation of receiving, it is an unconditional act. In such a transaction, if you will, a neutralizing effect takes place and what was given is bound to come back manifold. Generosity should be held as one of the most profound fulfillments in life, as it results in practicing humility and learning a number of 17 education in our daily lives. The joy obtained from giving is much greater than that experienced in receiving and taking what we desire or feel we want or need.
When you learn to give, you will find that there is an immense elation in giving what another one needs. Giving of oneself can include time and energy, talent and creativity, advice or monetary help. Remember, it all piles up to nothing when compared to the companionship and support of family and friends. Bliss you have never knowledgeable can be enjoyed, simply by practicing generosity, giving love or moral support, emotional or psychological assistance, or spiritual guidance.
Open your eyes and your mind to ways that you can help and give to others. You may be surprised just how much you will benefit by giving to others without receiving no matter which tangible or intangible in return. Oftentimes, many people give to receive when in actuality they should be thankful and express gratitude that they are in the position to give to those on the in receipt of side. Giving, generosity, and gratitude all go hand-in-hand. Giving is a Godly attribute because He never grows tired of giving to us. When we allow ourselves to see giving for what it truly is, 18 it will also bring us closer to God which contributes to your contentment in a number of habits as well.

Saturday, December 31, 2011

Success Key:Free Your Brain From Nervousness


Releasing your load from anxiety and worry will free your brain to think about the important things in life. At the very least, you will be able to think clearly without your brain being consumed with worry. Oftentimes, people get negative thoughts stuck in their heads and they become consumed with negativity. Just as people let anger, lust, and other vices control them, individuals allow be anxious to dictate their lives. Your own thoughts should not be a detriment to who you are, where you’re going, and how you think about your life and the lives of others. In this, it’s also important to surround yourself with positive people and resources. Just as others can negatively influence your thoughts or make you feel bad about something, you can do the same to others when you cast your be anxious into the world about you.
quite than panicking and worrying about every negative possibility out there, think positively and analyze the reasons why you are nervous or worrisome. This will enable you to become aware of any reasons behind why 29 you worry. If you put in the attempt to make a positive change, you will be able to improve your life in many ways. By identifying things that you may be uncertain of or worried about, you might be able to alleviate them. It wouldn’t be surprising to find out that you laugh at yourself when you lastly realize why you are so worried about silly things. By analyzing your worries and doubts, you will be able to educate yourself and make changes to avoid worrying in the future.
You don’t want to miss out on being happy because you were just misinformed. teach yourself, instead of worrying yourself. For example, if it’s your health you’re worried about, or going to the doctor’s office, you must understand that it’s much more beneficial for you to explore the informed results rather than misguided possibilities in your mind. Not doing this is counterproductive because worry can adversely affect your physical condition. And that just doesn’t make sense at all.
keep in mind that you can make good and bad things happen to you. Wouldn’t you rather have positive things happen to you? And have good things come your way? We all want positive things to happen but in life they don’t 30 always come to us. Like the saying goes, don’t let life happen to you; make life happen. And this, certainly, cannot be done if every you do is worry.

Happy Key:Use on Needs Not Wants


Especially after the past year, it would be fair to say that roughly every American is concerned or preoccupied with money and finances, in one way or another. As with any problem or conflict, it’s not necessarily identifying the issue or problem but more so how the individual or group of individuals plans on finding a solution to that issue, problem, or conflict. Money is such a responsive subject for so many people because, frankly, most people live paycheck-to-paycheck to pay their monthly bills and other expenditures while others make more and spend more as a effect.
Most of the evils individuals have with money are those they have shaped through their decisions on how to spend. As the saying goes, it’s not how much money you make but how much you save that matters. Furthermore, what you save is strong-minded by how you live your life and how you use the financial resources you have access to.
If money is an subject, or even if you want to save more money, you must learn to live by, and not beyond, your means. This translates into you spending money on what you need and not so much on what you want. Since our society has become so materialized, many would argue that wants and needs are the same. This is not true. Wants are luxuries—new cars, the finest clothes, fancy dinners and parties
People who choose to live their lives investigative money in such a manner end up happier because they feel they have some control. If that’s the case, why shouldn’t you? Learn to budget. Write down all that you buy and spend money on in a month’s time. Don’t leave anything out—include any spending, be it a night out on the town, trendy clothing, dry cleaning, or a birthday present for your niece or nephew.
Now, look over this list and be honest with yourself about where you can cut down on spending, particularly if it’s unnecessary. Luxuries such as high car payments, dining out regularly, and high interest credit card balances

Happy/Success Key:Believe What You Have-Be Practical


Receipt of the reality of any situation is a precondition for any desired result to be achieved. This also means that we, as human beings, accept each other, as we are, without imposing any preconditions at all and then make earnest attempts to grow together from there. When we desire change in others, we must realize how difficult it is to bring about change in ourselves. Only if the other person accepts you as a person of good intentions will they be eager to listen to our advice and attempt to bring about modify in themselves.
When we accept these types of things as a realism, instead of ignoring them or complaining about them, we realize that we as people are all very much alike. While each of us has admirable qualities, we all have qualities and individuality that may be undesirable to others as well. To really move forward, we must accept all of our differences and learn to overlook the negatives in everyone. To exist and influence others in a positive manner, we are to see the good and the bright, and take them all along with us.
All person beings are imperfect. And because we are human we are mortal beings. Our realization and acceptance of our own mortality will help us accept the sorrows and be grateful for the pleasures in our lives. Learn to accept that so many things are beyond our control such as the death of relatives and friends. We must appreciate that things such as cancer and other terminal illnesses are our reality as human beings. Our non-acceptance of these realities only elevates our problems instead of dealing with them head-on with a positive state of mind.
As much as we must accept the cruel realization of our mortality, we must learn to believe our own realities. If you will forever be miserable because you want to be a famous rock star, singer, or television personality, you might, after awhile, learn that you must be realistic about these types of realities as well. While positive thinking can take you places and help you achieve things you may have previously not thought possible, their may be limitations that are beyond your goal and desires. Goals are very important to have but those which are analyzed, grounded in fact, well thought out and pursued with energy and tenacity are those with higher rates of winner.

Happy Life Key:Take Responsibility For Mistakes


Quite than judgment fault in everything around you, look to physically to see if you are indeed responsible for the wrongdoing, shortcomings, and faults of which you are being critical. By blaming others for your own failures and shortcomings, you are doing more than others a disservice because you also harm yourself. Failure and slip-ups will occur but they are indeed just that unless something positive comes from such events. Now, you’re probably asking yourself, “How can that make me better-off?” Well, if you improve different aspects of your life, and you are constantly working to refine your strengths and characteristics, you will emerge a more competent, dependable, and contented individual.
The more confident you are, the more blame you will be able to take on. Particularly when you are held answerable for more and more responsibilities and tasks, you must learn to lead by example. That means that you most certainly need to find fault in yourself, your decisions, or events when things go awry.
Taking dependability for your faults and actions will help in making you a happier person because you will know that you are being honest with yourself on your way to becoming the best you. Sometimes only you will know that you’re at fault in a position and it’s up to you to make it right for you and all parties involved. One step that may make it easier to take dependability for your faults, wrongdoings, or shortcomings is to learn humility. Yes. You must learn to laugh at yourself, no matter how big or small your error or error. That is not to say that you should mess up or fail and learn to take it lightly and humorously.
If we fail to find fault in ourselves, we will also fail in improving ourselves and the results of our trials. When we present ourselves to the world as fallible, as we all are, others are less likely to judge us as that person who thinks they can do no wrong. None of us are perfect and, if we present ourselves as such, others will be less likely to accept us as friends, colleagues, and partners. Admitting fault is an important part in making positive changes in our lives. responsibility this makes us more appealing because others 105 can see us for what we are—human beings just like them. Be true and genuine in personality and the rest will fall into place.

Happy key:Learn to Brave


Particularly in uncertain financial times, it’s not difficult for so many people to allow fear to enter, overcome, and manage their lives. We fear losing what we have and, perhaps, losing what we have yet to attain. We have worked hard towards goals and have built a foundation on which to support our goals and imaginings but we are unsure of our outcomes. There are certain comforts, such as peace of mind and financial stability, which we acquire through the maturation process of our lives. However, many times we become contented because we fear loss. Many people become complacent with their routine, habits, and ways of life because it has worked well enough for them so far in their lives.
When did “well satisfactory” become the best way to make you joyful? As we have discussed, we all must be rational and realistic about our goals and dreams in life, as wanting can lead us mad and cause us to go astray. Fear, too, can lead us down this path because it prevents us from acting and leaves us waiting alone with our wants. If we are able to 118 identify and analyze our fears, we’re able to more effectively address how they affect our lives, decisions, and futures.
Write down your fears on a piece of document, no matter how small or silly you feel they may be. Frankly, if they are on your mind they may not be small or silly fears at all. Many times fears are irrational which means they are very much just “in your head.” If this is certainly true, get them out of your mind by writing them down on a piece of paper.
Ask physically, “Why am I afraid of airborne?” or “Why do I fear promise?” The fears are not necessarily the important piece of the puzzle. Rather, the things such fears prevent you from obtaining and enjoying are the larger issues. For example, your dislike of traveling on planes may inhibit you from taking a higher paying place where you must fly once a week. Whereas your fear of commitment in a relationship may cause you to be unhappy because you are alone and truly want a family of your own. In one way or another, both fears are really just a sign that you are afraid of modify.
“touching on,” then, may just be a matter of you accepting and reception change. A helping hand in this process may be to look into inspiring stories of triumph and success. When you learn about real people who, despite opposite greater adversity than your own, succeed and overcome their fears, you may just understand that you too can want and hug change.

How to be Happy Life System


Put out Anger:
Sure it’s easy to get mad and gust off some steam by screaming at the top of your lungs while pulling your hair out and making a big scene. But who does this make feel better? How does this help or change the situation? If anything, this makes things worse, as we all know from experience. There has been at slightest that one time where you blew up and felt guilty afterward. Perhaps you took your frustration out on someone who didn’t deserve it or, perhaps, you feel that maybe the individual deserved your verbal lashing but you still felt terrible after the incident. When things like this happen, we feel guilty for a reason. We know we are wrong and have misplaced our anger and frustration often making the position worse.
Finally, we feel guilty since we realize and know that we could have and should have handled the situation differently. Most of all, you feel guilty because you are a good person who had a moment of vulnerability and weakness and determined to react in an undesirable and unproductive manner. Everyone gets angry, from time to 138 time, because we each are different in our own little ways. But as much as we are different, we are all very much living and breathing human beings trying to make a way through this thing called life. We all have different thoughts, emotions, and ways of industry with things.
When we are annoyed, our voices to tend to get loud and our body language tends to become more violent. This does not make the situation better nor does it make our problems go away. Taking this into consideration, we must learn to choose our actions wisely because we are judged by our events as well as our words. To feel better about situations that typically make us angry, we should explore methods, and alternative outlets, through which we can alleviate our negative emotions and energies. This can be done through
• Exercise
• Communication
• Meditation and prayer

We all have different ways of expressing our anger but we should make a conscious effort to extinguish our anger in healthy ways. When people act physically out of 139 anger, they hurt themselves and others by creating additional problems. If they utilize exercise to use their built up physical energy instead, it will result in a positive and productive outcome when compared to the negative consequences and repercussions of physical violence.
Choose to take the high road and be the improved person in every conflict that may happen. There are many good people in this world that are more than willing to help others learn to deal with their anger and frustrations. Whether people choose to approach dealing with their anger from a spiritual, bodily, or verbal standpoint, they 140 should always remember to take the high road when conflict arrives.

How to Forever be Happy Life Key


Don’t fail to remember About Your Family and Friends:
Your family should be of utmost importance to you and you should be sure to let them know that. Everyday, take the time to tell your family members how important they are to you. You will feel better about all in your life, when you express to those who love you the most what they mean to you. Family is your support system and is essential in times of need and moments of illness or weakness. They, too, should and will be there for you in happier times to share in your activities and successes.
It should remain a priority in every child’s and adult’s lives to keep their family members close, especially because we share more with them than any acquaintance or passerby. Family is a part of you and you are a part of their whole. They have given you the values and moral support which has made you the human being you are today. You share experiences and memories that are unique to your identity and these are essential things to keep in mind when facing the trials and stresses of daily life. Your family has given 148 you the tools to not only enjoy life but also succeed in everything you do.
Sometimes tempers flare, personalities clash, and differences in attitude will surface but do not cut ties. Make sure you send birthday cards and make those phone calls that you think about often. You would not have these thoughts in your mind, if you would just reach out and make contact to these important people in your lives. Neglecting your family and friends breaks down your support system. You don’t want to push the important people in your life away because you’ll be left alone with nobody to talk to, laugh with, cry on, and spend your time. In a world with so many strangers, why select to keep to yourself and risk the potential of being miserable.
• Tell them how much they suggest to you
• Talk to your family members
• pick up the phone and call them
• Send a card or letter with an old picture indoors

Friday, December 30, 2011

Relationship:How To Always Be Happy,Dr.Harsimran Singh:


HAPPINESS AND POSITIVE FEELINGS IS AN INSIDE GAME:
We tend to forget that happiness is very much an inside game. When we tend to acquire happiness from the outer world, it can lead towards a temporary happiness. Many of us seek short-term solutions to our own happiness and this is not a healthy compromise. One of the main ingredients to personal happiness is having a positive attitude to harness happy emotions on the inside and not allow the outside world to be the sole source of becoming happy. This book on how to be happy in life provides practical knowledge on how to tackle common obstacles in life with a smile and will help you work towards a goal of endless gladness.
WE ARE OUR ENEMIES AS WE ARE ASSOCITES:
The how to be happy book in life is a revival for these difficult and uncertain times. If we truly look inside ourselves and into our every day lives, we become open for self-examination. In this process, we may realize that we often are as much our own enemies as we are our friends. When we let vices such as lust, anger, greed, attachments, and ego control our lives, we become our own enemies as well. We can channel those negative energies and create positive thinking in our lives. If we are not careful, we are capable of causing great detriment to the well-being of ourselves and others. The fire that burns as a source of necessity within each one of us can be damaging if not correctly harnessed.
DON’T LET FINANCES RULE HAPPINESS IN LIFE :
A life full of setbacks and doubts can make any person give up hope. Financial issues are a leading contributor to unhappiness. Finding out how to be happy in life takes self-exploration and a reversal of attitude. It is easy to give up and let sadness rule your body and mind. Being happy is something that will happen gradually over time using the right internal thinking. Many people wish for more excitement and a life full of accomplishments. This could be finding a new job, or making more money. The how to be happy book helps to define this problem and may point out that you could be the cause of the problem. Reading through the pages will present ways that we can all become happier persons.
DON’T LET RELATIONSHIPS CHANG HAPPINESS BY STAYING POSITIVE :
Every person has differences and similarities in life that could be the direct cause of not receiving along with others. Dr. Harsimran Singh devotes several chapters that explore ways on how to be happy in relationships and connections with friends, co-workers, family members and total strangers. By reading real life examples, you can learn about different scenarios that could have happened in your life that are preventing you from being a truly happy and positive person.
HUMOR AND HAPPINESS GO JOINTLY:
Dr. Singh's book is full of laughs, but there is always a strong positive message behind every laugh. In a funny way, this book advises us to worry about the little things, hold grudges, live beyond your means or to be jealous or envious! The reverse-style presentation by Dr. Singh paints a portrait of an unhappy person as the antithesis of what he believes is a happy person.

Monday, December 26, 2011

10 guidelines for a happy marriage

Marriage in one of the most rewarding yet challenging areas of our lives. Here are a few tips for a truly pleasing marriage.
• Have realistic prospect about marriages:
Do you expect your marriage to be like the ‘happily ever after’ in fairy tales or an endless succession of warm and colourful family functions like Hindi movies?Do you expect your future husband or wife to be perfect – consciously or subconsciously- like the characters in cinemas or novels?Or, if you are ‘in love’ with the person you are going to marry do you expect the euphoria of impractical love to last forever?
• One of the major reasons of sorrowful marriages is having unrealistic expectations.
These unrealistic expectations lead to disappointment and heart-break because real life can never live up to them. For example, it has been scientifically proven that the euphoria of romantic love is provisional. Successful couples are able to replace the romantic love with a more long lasting kind of love. And no matter who you marry, s/he will never be perfect, and s/he would certainly not be thinking about you all the time. And your marriage is bound to have ups and downs.
This does not mean marriages cannot be happy: they can. However, to make it so, both partners need to approach it with the right attitude and make unrelenting efforts. And having realistic expectations is the first component of the ‘true attitude’.
• Who shall I get married?
Bad or even abusive marriages often happen as a result of getting carried away by surface qualities. This may happen when a western woman gets carried away when she meets someone handsome, charming, and apparently with a lot of money; or an eastern parent who finds a prospective groom with degrees, bank balance and foreign residence for his daughter. We often realize too late that these qualities do not necessarily bring happiness, and that PrinceCharming is really selfish and greedy and does not have anything in common with us.
What we call love is also not necessarily a good predictor for a happy marriage either, because love is often nothing but a euphemism for physical attraction.
What matters most in a marriage is whether our partner is a good quality person or not. Whether they are honest dependable, and giving. And the most excellent marriages are created when the two partners share similar values and attitude towards life.
So before you get married, make sure you have enough information about the person you are going to marry. Don’t rely on what they are telling you, get objective information from people who know him or her. Do not conceal any important information about yourself from the person you are going to marry.
understand two people cannot live in isolation:A marriage can never be happy without the parents' blessings. Our bonds with our first families are so deep rooted that even if we cut it off externally we cannot do so inside. People who go ahead and get wedded on their own disregarding their family’s wishes habitually feel an bareness that is very difficult to fill up. This does not mean that you have no right to choose your own partner or that the family can impose their choice on you. But while your opinion is most important in deciding whether and whom to marry, you must ensure the marriage takes place with the whole-hearted consent and participation of the two families.
• Keep your wedding ceremony simple: Weddings are becoming more elaborate and costly affairs every day. Many of us have been dreaming about the perfect fairy tale wedding since our childhoods. But no matter how beautiful it is, your wedding will only last for a day (or a week in some eastern societies !) but your marriage will potentially last for ever. And wasting or overspending on your wedding will attract unhappiness to your marriage as a consequence of natural law. So for the sake of your marriage, keep your wedding simple.
• Try to understand your spouse quite than expecting him/her to recognize you:
One of the most important causes of problems in a marriage is not understanding or tolerant the fact that we are partially responsible for the problem. We always think we are right, and our spouse is wrong. ‘S/he is unjust to me’; ‘s/he does not understand me’. But we do not think that we can take the initiative to understand the other person.
The most effective way to resolve mistake in a marriage is to identify our own mistakes and try to see things from our spouse's point of view. After all we cannot wait for our partner to see things from another's point of view when we ourselves are not doing them same, can we ? When we automatically assume that the other person is wrong, we think the job for clearing the misunderstanding is also theirs. But if we accepted the fact that we failed make them understand, we would take steps to resolve the issue. And the problem would be solved.
• contract with your partner’s weaknesses and shortcomings pro-actively:
Whomever you marry will have some shortcomings – there will be some aspects of his/her personality that will not wholly match your expectations. How you deal with these shortcomings will determine to a large extent how happy your marriage will be. For a happy marriage:
o Try to accept the person as a whole- his weaknesses as well as his strengths. Remember compassion or love does not judge the other person, but rather tries to understand him/her.Try to separate the person from his behaviour. Concentrate on his/ her potential, rather than his/her current behaviour. This will make it easier to accept the shortcomings.
o Consciously nurture the positive ideas about each other. Appreciate and point out your partner’s good character. This might inspire him/her to overcome his shortcomings.
o Let go of the past. Do not hold on to mistakes your partner made in the past. exist with the present.
o Never compare your partner with other people. Rather, compare his past with his present and point out his development.
• Deal with financial issues wisely:
The root of marital problems is often finance. This is especially true if the husband is the chief earner in the family and the wife is wholly dependent on him. In such cases, problems often arise due to the gap between the wife’s prospect from the husband, and what he provides her in reality. To avoid financial problems:
o Give each other realistic ideas about each other’s income from the very beginning. This will lessen chances of unrealistic expectations.
o Buy gifts for each other. Do not detain or discourage your partner unreasonably from giving gifts to their family or helping them out financially.
o Do not waste- do not buy things impulsively. Wastage would attract misfortune to your family life according to natural law.
If you are the sole earner:
Say ‘yes’ to your partner’s requests for money as much as possible.
Give your partner some money to spend on her own. Never interfere with how he/she spends that money.
If your partner is the sole earner:
Keep your expectations from him/her within a sensible limit. Do not make demands that are beyond their means.
• care for your family life – spend time with your family:
Like everything else in life, if you want a happy family life, you will need to put time into it. Instead of spending time gossiping with ‘friends’ or playing cards or pool in the club, if you spend time trying to improve your family life, it will be much more rewarding in the long run. Remember, expenditure time with your family is different from simply staying at home. Instead of watching television, talk to each other, exchange feelings, views and opinions. When you’re with your family, try to be completely with your family, leave the pressures, worries and disappointments of work in the office. Participate together in housework.
• Cultivate religion in your family life:
Always remember there is a limit to how much satisfaction a relationship based on only attraction can give you. Only when emotional and spiritual bonds are added to the physical bond can a family achieve the necessary life- force to be long lasting.Our physical being asks “What Can I Get?” But our spirit always asks, “What can I give?” Much of the marriage advice we get from various sources tell us how to get all we want from our marriages. The truth is, the more willing we are to give, the more things come back to us as a consequence of the Law of Natural Return. If, in our marriages, we can make a routine of asking ourselves what we can give to our partners, rather than what we can get from them, the results would amaze us. We would see sides of our partners that we have never seen before. And we might also realize that, giving, after all, can be much more joyful than asking or demanding something. The bond created by an unconditional relationship can never be created by demands, contracts or domination. So just be patient and keep on giving, without asking what you are getting in return, as long as you decide to stay in the marriage.
• Know when to quit:
Some marriages are not destined to last. If your partner is abusive or unfaithful or has any other serious character flaws that s/he is not willing to overcome, it is best to end the marriage. In such cases, instead of holding on and eager s/he will change, it is better to take a firm decision as soon as possible and end the marriage before you have any offspring. Everyone will not change, because they are not willing to change, and being giving is not the same as being weak and dependent. If you already have off springs however, think hard and long before you decide to get a separation.

Friday, December 23, 2011

10 Essential Parenting Guidelines


Children are a permission from God. Yet nothing can be more painful than watching our children unhappy and unsuccessful. Wise parenting can help ensure that our child grows up to be a healthy, happy and successful adult. Here are the ten basic principles of parenting.
1) Parenting starts from the womb:
During pregnancy, thoughts and emotions pass from the mother to the child. Children whose mothers have them reluctantly are born with an innate sense of insecurity that nothing can make up for. So whether your baby was planned or not, if you decide to keep it, accept it with your whole being. Wait for its arrival eagerly.
When you are expecting, surround yourself with belongings that make you feel cheerful and happy. Be as honest and pure as you can in your thoughts and deeds.
Visualize the child. See your child exactly as you want to see him/her in reality: her emotional, intellectual and creative traits. The more real and complete your mental image is, the more those qualities will be reflected in your child.
2) The association between the two of you affects your child totally:
It is no news that most drug addicts or criminals come from unhappy or broken families. Whenever a child sees her parents argue, s/he is engulfed by a wave of insecurity. ‘What will happen to me?’ s/he thinks.This insecurity often leads to various kinds of psychiatric disorders. Even when you pretend to be amicable towards each other on the surface, children can sense if there is underlying tension.
So make sure the relationship between the two of you is in a stable place before you decide to have a baby. Come to terms with the gap between the expectation and reality of the marriage that often exists. Come to an agreement between what values you want to teach your children and how. Decide who is to play what role. Never contradict, blame or argue with each other in front of your child. keep in mind your child needs you both.
3) Your child wants your TIME and Attention, not Things!:
Trying to cover up the guilt of not being able to give time and notice to your child by giving her things is always counter-productive. Your time and notice helps your child become secure and confident, things just teach him to want more. When a child does not get attention from her parents, her bond with the home weakens, and she looks for notice and entertainment through the internet, cell phone, TV, video games, comics, junk books and bad company. This often leads to disastrous consequences, and results in a lifetime of regret for the parents, especially the mother.
To avoid this misery, give your child your absolute notice for the vital early development years, i.e from 0 to 3, or at least till you finish nursing. Quantum believes working mothers should be given maternity leave with full pay for at least three years. Make sure both of you spend some quality time with your child every day even after you go back to your work. What matters is not how much time you spend with your child, but what you do when you are together. The two of you sitting in front of the TV together does not count as spending time together. If you can really give your child complete notice for even one hour every day, your child will spend the rest of the day coming up for that hour.
4) keep in mind your child will learn what you Do, not what you Say:
Do not expect your child to be considerate to you in your old age if you ignore your own parents, no matter what you say to them. If you live an undisciplined life but tell your children to be disciplined, it won’t work. Children learn what their parents do, not what they say.
So before you become a parent, take a long, hard look at yourself. Are you ready to be a role model for your child? Which traits and qualities of yourself do you want to pass on to your child, which would you rather not? Develop yourself while you still have time.
As a parent practice what you lecture as much as possible. Do not present yourself as infallible to your children, this would confuse them when your shortcomings and mistakes become apparent. If you make mistakes, apologize without hesitation. This will increase your child’s respect for you and at the alike time he will learn to apologize for his mistakes.
5) Learn to Say NO to Your youngster:
If you are giving your child whatever they want whenever they want it you are depriving them of valuable lessons in patience, gratitude and hard work. Do not fulfil their every desire, and when you do, let them wait a bit. This will teach them that all desires are not beneficial, that sometimes we need to wait for something to happen, and that we need to earn what we want.
6) Remember, Every youngster needs a healthy balance of discipline and encouragement:
Every child needs a healthy balance of discipline and affection to grow up as a capable and confident individual. But we often tend to lean toward one of the two. Sometimes we overindulge our children when they are young and then try to discipline them when they are spoilt and irresponsible. By then it is often too late.
To avoid this, from an early age - about three – start explanation to your child whenever she does anything wrong. Let her suffer the consequences of her mistakes once in a while. Nip any bad habits in the bud. Arrange punishments, but do not lose your temper. Do not be afraid to be firm with your child. Your firmness will increase her inner security. Try to always keep your children busy with positive work. This will teach them discipline and self control, and also give them a taste of the joy of work.
However, only disciplining your child won’t ensure positive growth. Remember your love, affection, understanding and endurance plays the most important role in bringing up your child.
7) Teach your child hard work:
As parents, we often have the urge to protect our children from the dangers and discomfort of the real world. We try to do everything for them so that they can concentrate on their studies. By doing so, we sabotage their success. Children who are not used to hard work and who do not have any knowledge outside of the content of their text books cannot cope with the challenges of the real world.
So in order to raise your child as a capable individual, teach her to work hard from an early age. Teach her to do her own belongings from childhood. When they are old enough to dress on their own or eat themselves, let them do it. Ask help them to participate in age appropriate household chores and decisions. This will make it easier for them to succeed in the real world.
8)Teach your child to give:
The happiest and most satisfied persons are those who have discovered the lasting joy of giving. Let your children taste this joy from an early age. When you are giving someone a gift as a family, let your child give it. Encourage you child to be the first to greet others. Read them stories about the great men of history, so that they choose the right role models.
9) Be tolerant:
Patience is the most important quality you can have as a parent. Do not expect your child to turn into a model of perfection overnight. This will make you frustrated when she doesn't meet your expectations; and your frustration will make you react in ways that are not helpful for her development. Teach her to develop good qualities with patience and inspiration. You will be rewarded.
10) Children are meant to be sacred responsibility, not a prized control:
Our children are not our possessions. They are a sacred responsibility from God. Your accountability ends when we have brought them up with the necessary education, training and moral qualities. So do not be overly attached to your child. Do not expect anything in return for taking care of her. This will save you a lot of dissatisfaction and heartache.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Why Doesn't Your Baby Listen to You


Are you aggravated because your child does not listen to you? Here are a few instructions that may help you.

• Instead of scolding or commanding, try explanation : Yelling or commanding make children feel like you are on the opposite side. The more children feel like you are on their side, you are their friend, the more likely they are to listen. Also, like many adults, children often need to understand why they should or should not do something. So instead of yelling or commanding, try explanation.

• Make sure your child feels unspoken or listened to: The more your child feels you understand him or her, the more s/he will be willing to do the things you ask him/her. So listen attentively to your child. Make sure your child understands you are genuinely trying to understand him.You will be amazed at the difference in his/her response towards you. Also, the better you understand your child's point of vision, the easier it will be to bring them around to yours.

• Make sure that the parents and other guardians are not contradicting each other: When the two parents contradict one another, the child becomes confused, and the the parent's words carry less weight. So make sure you and your spouse agree on what you are going to say to your child. In case of difference, do not oppose your spouse in front of the child. Talk to your spouse in private.

• Response your children's questions: If the parents cannot give their children enough time and attention, if they don't answer their questions or satisfy their curiosity, then children turn to someone or something else. This someone or something might be a friend, the TV or someone they meet in the internet. So from a young age, give them time, answer their questions, and take their fears and concerns seriously. Because once your child starts to trust someone or something more than you, it will be difficult to turn them around.
• Do not tell your child to do something you don't do physically: Children usually don't do what their parents say, they follow what their parents do. For instance, if you tell them smoking is a bad thing while they see you or your spouse smoke, it will be difficult to keep them away from smoking. So, the best way to ensure your child listens to you is to be an example. Of course, there will be some things that you and your child will need to do differently because of the age difference. But your child can understand the difference between that and not practicing what you preach.
• Make sure your child has to face some consequences when they don't pay attention to you: If your child can get away with doing what he pleases, he won't listen to you. Instead of yelling or threatening when your child doesn't listen to you, remain calm but arrange some punishment. Be firm. Do not let the fear that he will throw a tantrum in public let you back away from the punishment. Once your child knows that he will have to face some consequences if he does not listen to you, he will adjust.

• Avoid repeating the same thing over and over once more: Repeating the same things over and over again lessen the importance of your words. Instead tell them once. Let them know the result of not listening. If they don't listen when you say the second time, let them face the consequences.

• Overpass the generation gap: Sometimes parent's expectations from their children are unrealistic in the present context. Because times have changed, we can't expect our children to be like we were as children. However, this does not mean you need to go along with everything your child is doing. The solution is to find a middle ground between their desire and yours, to strike the delicate balance between being a friend and being a guardian. Also, in many compliments, such as in technology, the present generation is more advanced then ours. The more we acknowledge and appreciate this, the more we give them respect, the more likely they will be to listen to us.

• Do not inflict your own dreams and ambitions on your child:
Sometimes we want to fulfil our own unfulfilled dreams through our children. Instead of letting the child decide her goals based on her talents and interests, we impose our own dreams and ambitions. In such cases, children undergo serious mental conflict, and quite justifiably, might not want to listen to us. It is better to let children decide on their goals.

• Do not present things in a way that hurts your child's self-confidence:
Sometimes we forget that children have self respect too. We criticize them in front of other people, and or tell them thing like, "You are worthless." By hurting our children's self respect, we only increase the distance between them and us, and make it less likely that they will listen to us. So be firm, arrange punishments, but avoid saying or doing things that may hurt your child's self-confidence.

Preventing Marital Mistreatment


Do you, knowingly or unknowingly, nurture an attitude that increases the chance of marital abuse? By changing your attitude a little bit, you can create a special future for your daughter, sister or yourself.

• Inspire your daughter to create an individuality of her own from her childhood. Make sure she completes her studies and stands on her own two feet.
• Make sure your daughter knows that you will forever be there for her. Often, we have the attitude that after a daughter is married, she ‘belongs’ with her husbands family and not with her parents. This makes her vulnerable to abuse from her husband or his family.
• Do not scorn or mockery your daughter if it is difficult to find someone interested to marry her. Do not portray marriage as the only goal in her life. Encourage her to develop her qualities, not only her looks. Appreciation of physical beauty is temporary, but appreciation of qualities is permanent.
• Do not rush into a marriage. Do not get carried away with the wealth, family background or social behavior of the possible groom. Make sure you have all the information you need. It is best to marry someone within your social and cultural surroundings who you know about.
• Do not offer dowry. Remember, you cannot buy your daughter’s gladness with money. Rather, money or material gifts create a cycle of discontent; those who want dowry are usually never satisfied, they will want more and more.
• Stand by your daughter if she decides to end her marriage because of major causes like mistreatment or betrayal. Do not encourage your daughter to hang on to her marriage ‘at all costs’. Do not fear social reaction too much or teach your daughter to do so. If it is clear that her husband or his family tortures her or is not faithful to her, it is best to end the marriage as soon as possible, before any offspring is born.
• Do not believe that having a child will transform your husband. This never happens.Pre On the contrary, having a child in such a situation will make it difficult for you to take a decision to end the marriage. And regardless of whether you decide to stay with your husband or not, the child born in such unhappy situation is unlikely to grow up as a healthy and balanced human being.

What to say and not to say! to Your Husband or Wife and how to say it


Words just don't explain reality, they create reality. Every sound that comes out of your mouth, every word you utter, has some kind of effect on your partner. So choose what to say or not to say carefully.
Following these guidelines will help you keep your marriage happy.

• Always be nice and respectful when you are speaking to every other. Avoid rudeness, mockery and backbiting.
• Tell your partner you love him/her sincerely from the first day of the marriage. Even if you think they know it already, or you are expressing your love through your actions, it makes a world you variation to them to hear you say it!
• Praise your partner’s strengths. Acknowledge whole-heartedly all his/her offerings to the family.
• If your partner makes any mistakes, instead of criticizing directly, explain it to them nicely at the right time.
• Communicate in a way so that your partner does not feel blamed or judged. For example, instead of saying, “You’ve hurt me”, say, “I was hurt.” In the first case, your spouse would feel a need to defend himself, in the second case, he would feel understanding for you.
• Never criticize your partner in front of others.
• Apologize without hesitation for your own mistakes.
• In the case of misunderstandings, talk about the position and resolve it before either of you is bitter about it. This is very important. It is much more difficult to resolve the position once one of you has become bitter and put up a wall.
• Make sure you talk directly to your spouse; involving third parties in such situations can be ruinous.
• Do not ridicule or scornfulness your partner’s family.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Win People's Hearts with Your Honesty and Humanity


You can be first in class on your own. But in order to be first in life you need the help and support of other people. And the only way to achieve this is honesty and gentleness. Unless you are a good human being, unless you have a good heart, all your degrees, awards and achievements will be hopeless. Money or fame alone cannot give you peace. They cannot make you memorable. People will forget you after your death or only recall you as a bad example.
One day our Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) was going to the market to buy a shirt. He had 12 dirhams with him. On the way he saw a girl sitting beside the road and crying. He went to the girl and asked her gently ‘Why are you crying?’
The girl told him that she was a slave. Her master had given her 4 dirhams to buy some goods from the market. But she had lost them somewhere on the road. Now she was frightened to return home.
After hearing this, the Prophet (PBUH) gave her 4 dirhams from his 12 dirhams and said, 'Buy whatever you had to buy and go back home.' Then he went on his way.
When Prophet (PBUH) was returning from the market after a while, he saw the same girl sitting beside the road looking afraid and troubled. He went to the girl and said, ‘My child, why haven’t you gone home yet?’
'O Messenger of Allah (PBUH)', the girl replied, 'It's too late for me and I am afraid that they might beat me and ask as to why I took so long."
When the Prophet (PBUH) heard this, he went to her master’s home with her. The door was closed. So he said loudly ‘Assalaamu Aalaikum’ (Peace Be Upon You), but no one replied. Once again he again said ‘Assalaamu Alaikum’. Still, no one replied. When the Prophet said 'Assalaamu Alaikum' the third time everyone replied ‘Walaikum Assalam’.
Then the Prophet (PBUH) asked `Didn’t you all hear me the first time?’ The head of the family replied, 'We heard you! But we liked your say so much that we wanted to hear it again and again.'
When the Prophet (PBUH) told them the reason why he had come the head of the family said, 'You’ve graced us with your presence. We feel blessed. We will set this slave girl free in your honor'.
No one could be a better example of sincerity, kindness and hard work. He lost his parents when he was very young. He couldn't go to school, but he learned from the school of life. He grew up into a successful and independent person.
After he married Khadiza, the richest women in Mecca, he could have chosen to lead a life of luxury. But instead, he decided to give away all his wealth to the poor.
When he started spreading the message of Islam, he faced cruel persecution by the Quraish. But he never protested. He silently continued his work. Once when he was prostrated in prayer, some unruly young men spilled the intestines of a camel on his back and ran away. He didn't even stir. He never tried to take revenge.
When the persecution became unbearable, he sure to migrate to Medina. Even then he sent all his companions first, so that they could be safe. He himself was one of the last to leave. He even left his favorite cousin Ali (RA) in Mecca, so that he could give back all the possessions his enemies had left in his care. United, he and his followers fulfilled their mission. The nation that was considered the most backward and uncivilized in the world became an strong force that led human society for the next several centuries.

Study from the School of Life


The founder of Panasonic Corporation, ,Konosuke Matsushita was born in Japan on November 27, 1894. He was the youngest of eight children. When he was very young, his family lost all its fortune because of a bad investment choice. The family was forced to move to a cramped three bedroom city apartment house. There was always a lack of food, clothing, and medical care. Three of his older siblings died due to infectious diseases.
When he was nine years old Matsushita was forced to leave school and go to Osaka to earn a living. He became an apprentice, first in a hibachi store, then in a bicycle store. At that time the use of electricity was becoming more widespread in Japan and Matsushita felt that this discovery would be the dawn of a new era. Determined to be a part of this industry, he applied for a job with the Osaka Electric Light Company. Originally, he was hired to work as a wiring assistant but because of his willingness to learn, his position rose within the company. At the age of twenty-two, Matsushita was promoted to the celebrated position of an electrical inspector.
It was during this time that Matsushita attempted to introduce his boss to a new and improved light socket that he had perfected in his spare time. However, his boss was less than enthusiastic.
No longer emotion challenged in his career, Matsushita left Osaka Electric Light Company and set up his own company: without capital, a formal education, and experience in manufacturing. In a shop in the basement of his tenement he began creating several samples of his product with his wife, brother-in-law, and several assistants. But when he attempted to sell his product to the wholesalers after several months, they told him he wanted more than just one item. Eventually, Matsushita's assistants left his company and he was left with only his wife and brother-in-law.
But Matsushita didn’t give up. He worked on. He improved the quality of his goods and decreased the price by 50%. He was the first to come up with the idea of advertising products in newspaper. His sales began to increase rapidly.
By 1922, Matsushita's company was introducing new products to the market every month. He was also developing business strategies that made him stand out from his competitors. He learnt that a new product had to be 30% better and 30% less luxurious than the one already on the market. He also pioneered an effective after sales program.
Matsushita treated his workers like family. When the Great Depression hit Japan, companies began to lay off their workers. But instead of laying off, Matsushita transferred his manufacturing employees to sales positions. He cut work hours by half, but continued to pay his employees full wages.
In return Matsushita was loved by his workers. After the Second World War, he was nearly removed from the leadership of the company he created because his company had produced war equipment for Japanese military. But his employees portioned the military government to allow him to stay.
Outside the office of the Matsushita company, engraved in stone, is the basic management objective of its creator. It says,
'Recognizing out responsibilities as industrialists, we will devote ourselves to the progress and development of society and the well-being of people through our business activities, thereby enhancing the quality of life throughout the world.'
You may wonder what Matsushita had left afte so much of charity. Konisuke Matsushita died in 1989 at the age of 94. At that time, the amount of his personal property was three billion dollars. His company was the most profitable electrical company in the world, employing twenty thousands of workers.
At one point, an American shopping for a video cassette recorder might have looked at GE, RCA, Sylvania, Magnavox, Montgomery Ward, Quasar and Panasonic without the knowledge that every one of these models was made by Matsushita.
If you want to be successful in life, you can't just rely on books. You have to be ready to learn from life itself. So try to be self reliant in every way. Be ready to learn something new from all, everyday.

25 Autosuggestion to Help You Shine in Student Life


An autosuggestion or mantra is a positive statement that we repeat over and over in our mind. When you actually believe the autosuggestion, it becomes an confirmation.
Clinical psychologists have proved that our nervous system cannot differentiate between real and imaginary experiences. If you imagine an event, this generates the same brain waves as would have been created if the incident was real.
This is the secret behind the effectiveness of mantras, autosuggestions and affirmations. When you keep on repeating positive sentences, you start to feel successful, even if you haven't been successful before. And like magnet, success attracts more success towards it. So visualize success, believe you will be successful and talk about success. One day you’ll see that you’ve achieved that success for real. This is the power of positive words!
Here are a few autosuggestions that you might find useful as a student.
1. Being first in class will help me be first in life. I will be first in my class.
2. I have all the necessary qualities to be the top student in my class. I will always have confidence in my talent and abilities.
3. I am a good learner. I am prepared to learn. I will learn easily.
4. My mind will be peaceful, alert and attentive when I study. I will learn faster and faster every day. I will easily comprehend and remember everything I read. When essential I will express it effectively in speaking and writing.
5. My memory is perfect. I can suddenly remember what I need when I need.
6. I may get away with cheating in class exams, but I cannot pass life's exam without hard work. I will always find pleasure in hard work.
7. Every moment is precious. I will spend each moment in a planned way for the benefit of myself and others.
8. I meditate each morning. The rest of the day I carry the mindfulness of those moments with me. My thoughts, words, decisions and actions will be right.
9. Our level of concentration is determined by our level of interest. Everyday, at the meditative level, I will tell my mind why I need to study.
10. I will follow my diagram. I will not let others divert me from it.
11. To me exams are an enjoyable opportunity. By proving myself in successive exams I will progress towards being first in life.
12. I have done my best to prepare well for this exam. I have learnt everything thoroughly. I will certainly shine.
13. I will be at the peak of my mental ability in the examination hall. I will write the answer to each question quickly and accurately.
14. I will face the viva board with courage, spontaneity and self-assurance. I will answer each question clearly, accurately and politely. I will impress the board members with my natural and bright performance.
15. Fools repeat the same mistakes. I am learning from my mistakes everyday.
16. Being friendly and being friends is not the same. I will be friendly with everyone. But I will only be friends with those who share my goals and ideals.
17. I will not waste time in idle gossip. I will spend my time according to my plan.
18. While the losers complain the winners find solutions with courage, intelligence and try. I will prove myself a winner.
19. I am maintaining good relations with my teachers. I have more interest in my studies and as a result I can concentrate better in it.
20. I have control over myself. I can easily say 'no' to TV, face book, mobile, computer game or any other addiction.
21. Instead of being stubborn or irrational, I will help my guardians understand my point of view with sincerity and respect.
22. I am adept in languages and technology. I am always ready to learn new languages and practical skills.
23. I will learn to be self reliant from student life. I will make an effort to earn my own pocket money.
24. I work hard but never allow tension to interfere with my work.
25. The child learning to walk keeps on falling down but gets up every time. In my quest for self development I will learn lessons from the child. each time I make a mistake I will start again with new determination.

Student Affirmation
I’m a student! On the journey of enlighten! I’ve was born to do something great! I’ll meditate regularly. I’ll study with deep concentration. I’ll follow my routine every day. I’ll use my time and talent in a worthwhile way. Success is mine

Study Earlier Than Class


Most students do not study earlier than class. They study after. Therefore, they face difficulty understanding class lectures. They spend half the class day dreaming and the other half in annoyance.
The fact is you cannot expect to understand every single detail in class. Classes are there to help you with the things you had complexity understanding by yourself. So be smart! Study before class.
This will help you in several ways. Firstly, you will enjoy your classes much more. Second, you will do better in class discussions and create a good feeling on your teachers. Lastly and most importantly, when you study the chapter after it had been discussed in class, the you’ll find it much easier to understand and you’ll be able to keep in mind it for a long time.