Children are a permission from God. Yet nothing can be more painful than watching our children unhappy and unsuccessful. Wise parenting can help ensure that our child grows up to be a healthy, happy and successful adult. Here are the ten basic principles of parenting.
1) Parenting starts from the womb:
During pregnancy, thoughts and emotions pass from the mother to the child. Children whose mothers have them reluctantly are born with an innate sense of insecurity that nothing can make up for. So whether your baby was planned or not, if you decide to keep it, accept it with your whole being. Wait for its arrival eagerly.
When you are expecting, surround yourself with belongings that make you feel cheerful and happy. Be as honest and pure as you can in your thoughts and deeds.
Visualize the child. See your child exactly as you want to see him/her in reality: her emotional, intellectual and creative traits. The more real and complete your mental image is, the more those qualities will be reflected in your child.
2) The association between the two of you affects your child totally:
It is no news that most drug addicts or criminals come from unhappy or broken families. Whenever a child sees her parents argue, s/he is engulfed by a wave of insecurity. ‘What will happen to me?’ s/he thinks.This insecurity often leads to various kinds of psychiatric disorders. Even when you pretend to be amicable towards each other on the surface, children can sense if there is underlying tension.
So make sure the relationship between the two of you is in a stable place before you decide to have a baby. Come to terms with the gap between the expectation and reality of the marriage that often exists. Come to an agreement between what values you want to teach your children and how. Decide who is to play what role. Never contradict, blame or argue with each other in front of your child. keep in mind your child needs you both.
3) Your child wants your TIME and Attention, not Things!:
Trying to cover up the guilt of not being able to give time and notice to your child by giving her things is always counter-productive. Your time and notice helps your child become secure and confident, things just teach him to want more. When a child does not get attention from her parents, her bond with the home weakens, and she looks for notice and entertainment through the internet, cell phone, TV, video games, comics, junk books and bad company. This often leads to disastrous consequences, and results in a lifetime of regret for the parents, especially the mother.
To avoid this misery, give your child your absolute notice for the vital early development years, i.e from 0 to 3, or at least till you finish nursing. Quantum believes working mothers should be given maternity leave with full pay for at least three years. Make sure both of you spend some quality time with your child every day even after you go back to your work. What matters is not how much time you spend with your child, but what you do when you are together. The two of you sitting in front of the TV together does not count as spending time together. If you can really give your child complete notice for even one hour every day, your child will spend the rest of the day coming up for that hour.
4) keep in mind your child will learn what you Do, not what you Say:
Do not expect your child to be considerate to you in your old age if you ignore your own parents, no matter what you say to them. If you live an undisciplined life but tell your children to be disciplined, it won’t work. Children learn what their parents do, not what they say.
So before you become a parent, take a long, hard look at yourself. Are you ready to be a role model for your child? Which traits and qualities of yourself do you want to pass on to your child, which would you rather not? Develop yourself while you still have time.
As a parent practice what you lecture as much as possible. Do not present yourself as infallible to your children, this would confuse them when your shortcomings and mistakes become apparent. If you make mistakes, apologize without hesitation. This will increase your child’s respect for you and at the alike time he will learn to apologize for his mistakes.
5) Learn to Say NO to Your youngster:
If you are giving your child whatever they want whenever they want it you are depriving them of valuable lessons in patience, gratitude and hard work. Do not fulfil their every desire, and when you do, let them wait a bit. This will teach them that all desires are not beneficial, that sometimes we need to wait for something to happen, and that we need to earn what we want.
6) Remember, Every youngster needs a healthy balance of discipline and encouragement:
Every child needs a healthy balance of discipline and affection to grow up as a capable and confident individual. But we often tend to lean toward one of the two. Sometimes we overindulge our children when they are young and then try to discipline them when they are spoilt and irresponsible. By then it is often too late.
To avoid this, from an early age - about three – start explanation to your child whenever she does anything wrong. Let her suffer the consequences of her mistakes once in a while. Nip any bad habits in the bud. Arrange punishments, but do not lose your temper. Do not be afraid to be firm with your child. Your firmness will increase her inner security. Try to always keep your children busy with positive work. This will teach them discipline and self control, and also give them a taste of the joy of work.
However, only disciplining your child won’t ensure positive growth. Remember your love, affection, understanding and endurance plays the most important role in bringing up your child.
7) Teach your child hard work:
As parents, we often have the urge to protect our children from the dangers and discomfort of the real world. We try to do everything for them so that they can concentrate on their studies. By doing so, we sabotage their success. Children who are not used to hard work and who do not have any knowledge outside of the content of their text books cannot cope with the challenges of the real world.
So in order to raise your child as a capable individual, teach her to work hard from an early age. Teach her to do her own belongings from childhood. When they are old enough to dress on their own or eat themselves, let them do it. Ask help them to participate in age appropriate household chores and decisions. This will make it easier for them to succeed in the real world.
8)Teach your child to give:
The happiest and most satisfied persons are those who have discovered the lasting joy of giving. Let your children taste this joy from an early age. When you are giving someone a gift as a family, let your child give it. Encourage you child to be the first to greet others. Read them stories about the great men of history, so that they choose the right role models.
9) Be tolerant:
Patience is the most important quality you can have as a parent. Do not expect your child to turn into a model of perfection overnight. This will make you frustrated when she doesn't meet your expectations; and your frustration will make you react in ways that are not helpful for her development. Teach her to develop good qualities with patience and inspiration. You will be rewarded.
10) Children are meant to be sacred responsibility, not a prized control:
Our children are not our possessions. They are a sacred responsibility from God. Your accountability ends when we have brought them up with the necessary education, training and moral qualities. So do not be overly attached to your child. Do not expect anything in return for taking care of her. This will save you a lot of dissatisfaction and heartache.
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